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post #1 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 07:25 AM Thread Starter
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The joke thread!!!! Prepare to laugh.

One man says, "I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day."

The other man responds, "What is a Freudian Slip?"

"You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked her for 'Two Pickets to Tittsburgh."


The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, "B****! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

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post #2 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 07:49 AM
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Whats the diff between a goodyear tire and 365 used condoms???????????????????



Ones a goodyear and Ones a great year haha


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post #3 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 07:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cobaltinator View Post
One man says, "I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day."

The other man responds, "What is a Freudian Slip?"

"You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked her for 'Two Pickets to Tittsburgh."


The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, "B****! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"

I dont know any good jokes.............. other than the COUNTLESS blonde jokes ive heard thru my life time, but...... they're not funny.

keem em coming u guys!


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post #4 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedBalt View Post
Whats the diff between a goodyear tire and 365 used condoms???????????????????



Ones a goodyear and Ones a great year haha
YES! Nice one.
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post #5 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 08:03 AM
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What does a whirlpool and a blonde have in common???????

They both swallow a lot of seamen


What does a Screen door and a blonde have in common??????

The more you bang it the looser it gets

Whats the difference between an ironing board and a blonde???????

A ironing boards legs are hard to open




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post #6 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 08:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwistedBalt View Post
What does a whirlpool and a blonde have in common???????

They both swallow a lot of seamen


What does a Screen door and a blonde have in common??????

The more you bang it the looser it gets

Whats the difference between an ironing board and a blonde???????

A ironing boards legs are hard to open



November 14th 2009... the day TwistedBalt gets smacked right across the face................................


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post #7 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 08:08 AM
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Once there was a man laying at a nude beach. Well he sees a little girl walking towards him so all he has is a newspaper. He quickly puts the newspaper in front of his private. The little girl stops and asks what he has behind the newspaper and the man quickly replies a little birdy so the girl says Oh and walks away well the man continues to lay down and falls into a deep sleep. When he awakens he finds himself in an ambulance in a lot of pain and doesn't know what happened. The police ask what happened and all the man said was " All i remember is a little girl coming up to me asking me about my privates" So the police go and find the little girl and ask her what she did to the man laying on the beach.

The little girl replied" The man said he had a birdy behind the paper so i started to play with it and the bird spit on me so i broke its neck cracked the eggs and set the nest on fire"


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post #8 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 08:10 AM
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Quote:
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November 14th 2009... the day TwistedBalt gets smacked right across the face................................
haha

How do you make a 1 armed blond fall out of a tree??????????

Wave


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Yo Mamas so old she owes jesus food stamps.

Yo Mamas so Fat when she dances the whole band skips


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post #9 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 09:55 AM
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bump


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post #10 of 65 (permalink) Old 09-18-2009, 10:02 AM
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This is kinda long, but its for all us girls who LOOOVE chocolate! LOL

Giving Up Chocolate

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who
asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and
asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy
chocolate with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the
homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying
food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman
said.. 'I
need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I
asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had
my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead,
I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me
tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked.

'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing
that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important
for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given
up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate!'


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