To coby7; no sir. No crank, no click, nada! I have a YouTube video of my symptoms I will attach shortly.
Tbird; I was thinking that that is the most likely scenario. Someone also told me that it could be the switch though it giving out randomly like that just seems unlikely. I have confirmed that it will crank by jumping 30 and 87 ab d yes I do have one of those fake relay testers. I have the schematics. Yes I did connect them to the battery. It's an automatic.
YouTube video: https://youtu.be/rk0BYAzMTTw
Yes the car is very dirty, no it is not mine.