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Late one night a young boy was having trouble sleeping. You see recently his grandmother on his fathers side had moved in with him and his parents and she spoiled him with too much sugar caffeinated soft drinks and it was keeping him up late into the night. As young children do, he felt the need to go into his parents room to inform them of his inability to fall asleep.

He quietly opened the door and slipped into the bedroom but instead of snoring he was met with heavy breathing and grunting. He sees his father ravaging his mother in a display of sexual prowess that would have impressed porno directors. As he approaches the bed his parents suddenly become aware of his presence and quickly slip beneath the blankets in embarrassment. But it was too late; the boy had seen everything. All the child could manage to say was "Dad, how could you..." and he ran from the room in horror.

With a certain sense of annoyance, the father pulls on his robe and says to his wife "don't worry, I'll go have a talk with him". He makes his way to his son's room, but the boys room, but finds it empty. Annoyance growing, he starts down the hallway wondering where the boy might have hidden himself. It is at that point that he notices the light is on in the grandmother's room. "Oh great", he mutters to himself, the last thing I need is him running to my mother and telling her all about this!". He approaches the door to the grandmother's room and peers through a crack in the open door. To his shock he sees his son ****ing the grandmother like a dog humps a leg. "Son! What the hell are you doing!?!?!?!?" he yells. The son simply looks back over his shoulder and says, "how do you like it when it is your mother old man?"
 

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Get Out The Sawzall
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What do you mean in before the lock, this is off topic and there is nothing wrong with the joke, allot better than some of the other threads started on YC.

Heres another one I got in an e-mail today.


Why I'm divorced . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.' I thought...Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way ‘Happy Birthday !' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. ‘Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....On the couch.... Naked. After all, I'm just a man.
 

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Funny.........and yet disturbing.
 

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Bamble Ramble!!!!
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What do you mean in before the lock, this is off topic and there is nothing wrong with the joke, allot better than some of the other threads started on YC.

Heres another one I got in an e-mail today.


Why I'm divorced . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.' I thought...Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids...They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way ‘Happy Birthday !' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. ‘Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....On the couch.... Naked. After all, I'm just a man.

lmao! thats a good one
 

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A man in his mid-40's is lounging on the sofa watching the game when his wife comes up to him, and looks longingly into his eyes. She removes his glasses and says.
"with out your glasses you the same handsome young man I married 20 years ago."

he replies.
"Without my glasses you don't look too bad either honey".
 

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i smell lock....
 

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Cornier Than Ethanol
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Since it's still open, why not?

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have bought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran towards some nearby woods and dove in behind some bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he heard the 2 statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After15 minutes the two emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head!"
 
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